Most viewed jokes

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Yes, it's the rotting meat that attracts them!

What is posthumous work?
→ Something written by someone after they are dead!

What do you call a man who has been dead and buried for thousands of years?
→ Pete.

What dance do you do when summer is over?
→ Tango (tan go).

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."

"Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

What would you hear at a cow concert?
→ Moo-sic!

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
→ A bullfighter!

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature."

The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!

"What else do you have?" asks the student.

"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"

The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment." He goes back into the storeroom and brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.

"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.

The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know ... math always was a little hard to swallow."

'You boy!' called a policeman. 'Can you help? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......'

'Really?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called?'