Most viewed jokes

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
→ They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
→ "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

- Why are you laughing?

- My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that.

- But it was the wrong one!

A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home. 'I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died,' said the monster.
'Certainly ma'am,' said the undertaker, 'but there was really no need to bring her with you.'

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?
→ A dead centipede.

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
→ They were very impressed!

Son to his father as they watch television:

"Dad, tell me again how when you were a kid you had to walk all the way across the room to change the channel."

- Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test?

- Fred: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?
→ A first-aid kit!

Where do cats write down notes?
→ Scratch Paper!