Most viewed jokes

- Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?

- Pupil: Dead?, I didn't even know he was sick!

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I was mugged on the way to school and the mugger took everything I had

The local courtroom was packed as testimony began in the sentencing hearing of a woman convicted of murdering her husband of 20 years by poisoning his coffee.

The defense attorney knew he had his work cut out for him trying to make his client appear more sympathetic to the Judge, especially since she had been so "matter-of-fact" about the whole thing all during the trial.

"Mrs. Roth," he began, "was there any point that morning where you felt pity for your husband?"

"Well... yeah... I guess..." she replied.

"And when was that?" pressed the attorney.

"Well...," she replied, "when he asked for his third cup."

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by you again?

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?
→ A Doberman fincher!

What does KFC and a woman have in common?
→ Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.

Swint and Fess, two Oklahoma cowboys, were resting their horses out on the range.

"What'd Emmaline give yew for yore birthday?" asked Swint.

"Pair of cufflinks," said Fess. "But I ain't got no use for them. I can't even find anyplace to get my wrists pierced."

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
→ He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Why are cows made for dancing?
→ They're all born hoofers!

What do cows do when they're introduced?
→ They give each other a milk shake!