Most viewed jokes

A patient asked the dentist, if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."

How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.

A chap went up to the counter in the library and said, "Have you got any books about committing suicide?"

The librarian said, "Yes. Take a look over there, somewhere on the middle shelf."

The chap came back a few moments later and said, "I can't find any at all."

The librarian replied, "Yes, it's awful. They never bring 'em back!"

Why was the robber so secure?
→ He was a safe robber.

- Judge: Tell me your occupation.

- Prisoner: I'm a locksmith, Your Honour.

- Judge: Then what were you doing in a jewellery shop in the middle of the night when the police saw you?

- Prisoner: Making a bolt for the door!

- Visitor: Wow, you have a lot of flies buzzing round your horses and cows. Do you ever shoo them?

- Cowboy: No we just let them go barefoot.

What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
→ A bull pull!

How do bulls drive their cars?
→ They steer them!

Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus.

- Do you consider a 144 I.Q. high?

- Yes!

- For the whole basketball team?

Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations?
→ Santa Clues.