Most viewed jokes

A man wanted an Easter pet for his daughter. He looked at a baby chick and a baby duck. They were both very cute, but he decided to buy the baby chick. Do you know why?
→ The baby chick was a little cheeper!

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?
→ Anything you want. He can't hear you.

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
→ A molar bear

- I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?

- That's right, Sir.

- So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?

- That was my dentist.

- Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled.

- Dentist: Relax, I'm coming to it.

What's a zombie's favorite pop song?
→ Dead sails in the sunset.

A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
→ A police officer!

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, "Englander, your arm is infected with gangrene vee must cut it off."

The English prisoner said, "Well, okay, but could you drop it over England when you go bombing?"

The German replied, "Ya, that vill not be a problem."

A few weeks later the German tells the Englishman that they have to cut his other arm off. The Englishman says, "Well, could drop it over England like you did last time?"

"Ya, that vill be done," says the German.

The next day the German tells him that they have to cut his leg off.
Once again the Brit says, "Well, could you do the same as before?"

The German replies, "Vhy, ya."

The next the German tells him they have to cut his other leg. "Well," begins the Brit, "could you just..."

The German snapped, "No! We think you are trying to escape!"

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."

When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head?
→ Steer phones!