Most viewed jokes

What goes oo ooo oooo?
→ A cow with no lips.

A boy sat on a train chewing gum and staring vacantly into space, when suddenly an old woman sitting opposite said, 'It's no good you talking to me, young man, I'm stone deaf!'

"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

Who Shot JR? by U Dunnit

The Laser Weapon by Ray Gunn

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss.

"But where were you yesterday?"

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech.

Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

One way to live together and never have an argument is for both husband and wife to be hard-of-hearing... and to share the same hearing aid.

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
→ Cut the rope.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants?
→ They always want to play leap frog with him