Baby Swans Dance
What do baby swans dance to?
→ Cygnet-ure-tunes!
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Guest
Counterfeiting Career
- Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?
- Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."
Guest
Cow And Kangaroo
What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?
→ A kangamoo!
Guest
Noise Under Bed
All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done.
One night Grady heard a noise under his bed.
Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered:
- Anybody there?
- No - said the burglar.
- That's funny - the boy said to himself.
- I could have sworn I heard a noise!
Guest
Cat's Favorite Food
What's a cat's favorite food?
→ Petatoes!
Guest
Truckers On The CB
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
- Hey Roadway driver whos the two biggest poofs in America? - comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies:
- I don't know.
The other trucker says:
- You and your brother.
Well the Roadway driver gets all annoyed but the other driver tells him:
- Its just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see.
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour an finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says:
- Hey other truck do you know who the two biggest poofs in the world are?
The other trucker says:
- I don't know who?
The roadway driver replies:
- Me and my brother
Dad's Car
- What sort of a car has your dad got?
- I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T.
- Really - Ours only starts with gas.
Guest
Monster Walking Home
- Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.
- Ghost: Why don't you take a train.
- Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Guest
Tire Tread Marks
Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?
→ From crawling across the street when the sign said:
- Don't Walk.
Currency Exchange Fluctuations
A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter.
- Wait a minute - he says to the clerk.
- When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. What's going on here?
- Fluctuations - says the clerk.
The Japanese man stiffens:
- Well! Fluck you Americans, too!