Most viewed jokes

What did Adam say to Eve?
→ Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
→ Tea Rex?

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

How many line dance instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Five!...
Six!...
Seven!...
Eight!

Why did the burglar take a shower?
→ He wanted to make a clean getaway

What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
→ A woolly bully!

Why do cats eat fur balls?
→ Because they love a good gag!

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down.

One day John got yet another one of those calls.

- What happened this time? - he asked.

- My brakes went out - Jill said.

- Can you come to get me?

- Where are you? - John asked.

- I'm in the drugstore - Jill responded.

- And where's the car? - John asked.

Jill replied:

- It's in here with me.

- Police Officer: Why were you speeding?

- Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.

A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room.

- How did you manage to do that? - he fumed.

- Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!