- Where are my shoes? - asked the Iowa State professor as the class ended.
- They're on your feet, - said one of the students.
- So they are, - said the professor.
- It's a good thing you saw them, or I would have gone home without them!
Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran.
- Would you like another cookie? - she asked.
- Yes, please - replied Jimmy.
- What good manners you have - said his Gran.
- I do like to hear young people say "please" and "thank you".
- I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake - replied Jimmy!
- Have you ever had this before?
- Yes.
- Well, you've got it again.
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God!
When the husband came home from his job, he found his wife crying.
- Your mother insulted me, very much - she sobbed.
- My mother? How could she do that when she's on a vacation on the other side of the world?
- I know. But this morning, a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it, because I was curious.
- And?
- At the end of the letter, it was written: P.S. Dear Catherine, when you've read this letter, don't forget to give it to my son.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
Where do footballers dance?
→ At a football!
Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears.
- Oh Marie - she said to her maid.
- I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
- I don't believe it for one minute! - Marie snapped.
- You're just saying that to make me jealous!!!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Barrister
- Barrister who?
- Barristercratic!
The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."
