Most viewed jokes

What does a spider do when he gets angry?
→ He goes up the wall!

What's a cow's favourite love song?
→ When I fall in love, it will be for heifer.

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?
→ The police made him bring it back again.

Steve, Bob and Jeff are all working on some very high scaffolding. Suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realise they'll have to inform his wife. Bob says he's good with this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do it. After two hours, he returns carrying a six-pack of beer.

- So, did you tell her? - Asks Jeff.

- Yep. - Replies Bob.

- Hey, where did you get the six-pack?

- She gave it to me.

- What?! - Exclaims Jeff.

- You just told her that her husband died, and she gave you a six-pack?!

- Sure. When she answered the door, I asked her whether she was Steve's widow.

- Widow? - She said.

- No, no.. I'm not a widow. You must be mistaken.

So I said:

- I'll bet you a six-pack you are!

How does an elephant get out of a small car?
→ The same way that he got in!

What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse?
→ Talk

What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
→ They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

Two postmen are on break having a cigarette.

While on this break one postman says:

- Hey look at that snail

The other postman looks down and says:

- FUCK - and steps on the snail.

Postman 1 looks at him and says:

- Why'd you do that

Postman2 replys:

- Because that fucker has been following me all day.

Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist.

- I don't understand it - she complained - I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80.

- It is usually $20, ma'am - agreed the dentist - but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!

What is a frog's favorite dance?
→ The Lindy Hop.