Most viewed jokes

- Teacher: If you had five apples on your desk and the boy next to you took three what would you have?

- Pupil: A fight!

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Men are like shag carpets.
Soft, fuzzy and extremely easy to walk on.

Men are like computers.
Hard to figure out and never enough memory.

The newlyweds arrived at the front desk of the posh ocean-side resort in Hilton Head, South Carolina, looking all fresh, and eager to enjoy their two week vacation/honeymoon.

The stunning blonde at the front desk smiled and said:

- Well, hi Jimmy, how ya been lover? Long time no see.

A frosty silence prevailed until the couple reached their room. Once inside, the piqued bride demanded:

- And just who was THAT woman?!?!?

The groom wiped his brow and said:

- Just relax honey. Please! I'm going to have enuff trouble explaining you to her.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Begonia

- Begonia who?

- Begonia bother me!

Why did the teacher decide to become an electrician?
→ To get a bit of light relief.

How many social scientists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ None. Social scientists do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.

Why did the man call his horse Fleabag?
→ Because he was often scratched!

What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
→ They pull up their pants.