Most viewed jokes

Two, old drunks in a bar. The first one says:

- Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand.

- So - says the second drunk - what's your point?

- Well - says the first - I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!

- What are you doing?

- I'm trying to call Washington!

- Oh, haven't you heard? He's dead!

- I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare.

- William Shakespeare's dead, silly.

- No wonder he hasn't replied.

Where can you dance in California?
→ San Fran-disco

Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
→ Because he rode the range.

What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
→ A dear steer!

What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
→ Your calves!

- Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?

- Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?
→ Toot and Car Man.

I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and said:

- Come on in. They're bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!

Later I learned he was talking about the payments.