This guy is walking with his friend. He says to this friend:
- I'm a walking economy.
The friend replies:
- How so?
- My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!
What do you call a blonde sky diving team?
→ A new version of the lawn dart's game.
How do you confuse a blonde?
→ Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner.
What do you call a depressed dentist?
→ A little down in the mouth.
- I'm worried - said the woman to her sex therapist.
- I happened to find my daughter and the little boy next door both naked and examining each other's bodies.
- That's not unusual - smiled the therapist.
- I wouldn't worry about it.
- But I am worried, doctor - insisted the woman - and so is my daughter's husband!
An old man of 87 went to the hospital to get a radical new surgical procedure done where they stretch the skin and pull all the wrinkles up onto the top of the scalp making you appear years younger.
On his way out of the hospital, he met an old friend who didn't recognize him at first.
- Rob, is that really you? - said the friend.
- You look years younger. I didn't know you had a dimple in your chin.
- It's not a dimple, it's my belly button - said the old man and his friend laughed.
- If you think that's funny, take a look at what I'm wearing for a tie!
A remedy for the common cold suggested by Dr. Richard Gordon, from the "Atlantic Monthly":
At the first sign of a cold, go to bed with a bottle of whiskey and a hat. Place the hat on the left-hand bedpost. Take a drink of whiskey and move the hat to the right-hand bedpost. Take another drink and shift the hat back again. Continue this until you drink the whiskey but fail to move the hat.
By then, the cold is probably cured.
Gena is such a good wife. Why, just let her husband get home late at night and as soon as he enters the door, he gets his pipe, slippers, pajamas, robe, book, dinner, and if anything else is handy, she heaves that at him, too.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
→ A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
If you have a referee in football, what do you have in bowls?
→ Cornflakes!
