Most viewed jokes

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bill

- Bill who?

- Bill-tup area!

My brother's looking for a girlfriend. Trouble is, he can't find a girl who loves him as much as he loves himself.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ "I don't know, but I can look it up for you."

How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.

How do you go about hiring a horse?
→ Try two pairs of stilts!

Why are elephants wiser than chickens?
→ Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?!

Whats the difference between premenstrual tension and BSE?
→ One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural problem.

Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times.
One says to the other:

- Darling, do you remember the minuet?

The other replies:

- Sweetheart, I can't even remember the ones I screwed!

A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf-mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. "Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."

I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk!
→ But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?