Two young couples marry the same day and, being all friends, leave together for honeymoon to stay at the same Hotel in Venice, door to door.
The next morning, the two brand new husbands step out on their balconies to have a breath of fresh air.
- So? How was it going last night? C'mon, tell me! How's your wife?
- Uhh, fine I guess, she's lying on the bed smoking.
- Jesus! My wife just got a bit sore...
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman:
- Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied:
- No he didn't. He just walked in the door.
- Father: If I had ten oranges and gave you two, how many would I have left?
- Son: I don't know, because in school we learn on apples.
Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding?
→ They got jellygated!
- Examiner: I think you know very little, if anything at all, about the Bible. Can you quote any passage?
- Student: Judas departed and went and hanged himself.
- Examiner: Well, that's a surprise. Can you quote another?
- Student: Go thou and do likewise.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
→ Mouse code!
What should you do if a monster runs through your front door?
→ Run through the back door.
Why did the monster take his nose apart?
→ To see what made it run.
How many military information officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ At the present point in time it is against policy and the best interests of military strategy to divulge information of such a statistical nature. Next question, please.
Why should a honeymoon only be six days?
→ Because seven days makes a whole week.
