Two young couples marry the same day and, being all friends, leave together for honeymoon to stay at the same Hotel in Venice, door to door.
The next morning, the two brand new husbands step out on their balconies to have a breath of fresh air.
- So? How was it going last night? C'mon, tell me! How's your wife?
- Uhh, fine I guess, she's lying on the bed smoking.
- Jesus! My wife just got a bit sore...
- Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter?
- Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!!
- Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!
- No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...
Man says to God:
- God, why did you make woman so beautiful? - God says:
- So you would love her.
- But God, - the man says - why did you make her so dumb?
- So she would love you. - God replies.
They say that men only think about sex. That's not exactly true.
They also care a lot about power, world domination, money, and beer.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
→ They're married.
Where does a snowman put his birthday candles?
→ On his birthday flake!
- Teacher: This note from your father looks like your handwriting?
- Pupil: Well, yes, he borrowed my pen!
What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?
→ A dead school bus!
Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten, gagged, whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
A tourist climbed out of his car in downtown Washington, DC.
He saw a man standing near the curb, and asked:
- Listen, I'm going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?
- What? - the man huffed.
- Do you realize that I am a member of the United States Senate?
- Well no - the tourist said.
- I didn't realize that. But listen, I'm really in a bind so I'm going to have to trust you anyway.
