Most viewed jokes

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
→ Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train.

- The next train is in one hour - said the stationmaster.

The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi.

Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away.

- Next one is sixty minutes from now! - said the stationmaster.

An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.

- Your parents just left you - said the stationmaster.

- Why are you laughing?

- They came to see me off!

Hear about the blonde explorer?
→ She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
→ They want to measure their intelligence.

Why do blondes have more fun?
→ They are easier to keep amused.

- I forgot my brother's birthday last month.

- What did he say?

- Nothing, yet.

What did Clinton say when commenting on Monica?
→ She has the whitest teeth I've ever cum across.

- I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?

- Do begin with the bad news, please.

- Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS.

- Good grief! What's the good news?

- The good news is that there is no more bad news.

After her operation, the famous lady soap opera star was propped up in bed in her private room, as the doctor did his rounds.

- Tell me, how are you feeling now? - he asked.

- A lot better, thank you - purred the star in reply.

- But one thing does bother me. When will I be able to resume a normal sex life?

- Oh, that's rather hard to say - said the doctor.

- I've never been asked that after a tonsilectomy before.