Most viewed jokes

Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
→ For hare care.

How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

What is a mouse's favourite game?
→ Hide and squeak!

What do sea monsters have for dinner?
→ Fish and ships.

A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.

The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said:

- Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers.

Men are like pillows.
Eventually, even the best ones get soft and lumpy.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
→ Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Brook

- Brook who?

- Brook-lyn bridge!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Arthur

- Arthur who?

- Arthene you in the butchers, haven't I?

- Teacher: What are the four elements?

- Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet.

- Teacher: What do you mean the Internet?

- Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm in my element.