Most viewed jokes

Which snakes are found on cars?
→ Windscreen vipers.

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom:

- Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:

- Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.

Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to an interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him:

- What is three times seven?

- Twenty-two - Kowalski replied.

After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he knew he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job! He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious.

The next day, Kowalski went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said:

- Well, you were the closest.

The World of Vegetables by Artie Choak

What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
→ Silicone chips.

Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?
→ She thought it was Diet Coke.

What did the blonde say when she knocked over a priceless Ming vase?
→ "It's okay Daddy, I'm not hurt."

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in:

- I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this.

After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in.

A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away.

He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said:

- I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold.

- I can barely remember anything after I turned off the big fan!

Yo momma so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.