Most viewed jokes

What's the hardest part of making monster soup?
→ Stirring it.

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked:

- What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?

- That object, naturally.

- What makes you think that?

- 'Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can't see that object even at day time.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Beck

- Beck who?

- Beckfast of champions!

What has long ears, hops and likes websurfing?
→ The e-aster bunny.

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?
→ He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

Treadwell walked into a Biloxi stationery store and asked:

- Have you got any invisible ink?

- Certainly sir - said the owner.

- What color?

Pierre was a camper from France. In his honour, Jenny sang a French song in the talent show. But she didn't sing very well.

- Does that make you homesick? - someone asked Pierre.

- No - he answered.

- Just sick sick!

What did one bell say to the other?
→ "Be my valenchime!"

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him:

- Didn't you tell me you were a banker? - the young man answered.

- Yes, I did.

To this the tailor said:

- Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?

Bill and Steve are enjoying a beer and discussing the possibility of love.

- I thought I was in love three times - Bill says.

- Thought? - Steve asks.

- What do you mean?

- Three years ago, I cared very deeply for a woman who wanted nothing to do with me - Bill says.

- Wasn't that love? - Steve asks.

- No, that was obsession - Bill explains.

- Then two years ago, I cared very deeply for an attractive woman who didn't understand me.

- Wasn't that love? - asks Steve.

- No, that was lust - Bill replies.

- And just last year, I met a woman while I was on a cruise. She was gorgeous, intelligent, a great conversationalist and had a super sense of humor. Everywhere I followed her on that ship, I would get a very strange sensation in the pit of my stomach.

- Well, wasn't that love - asks Steve.

- No. That was motion sickness! - Bill replies.