Most viewed jokes

After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house.

Explaining who he was he asks:

- What happened?

- Well - one of the officer's says:

- It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground.

The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief...

- My agent came to my house?

- FIRST HUMAN BOY: I can lift a monster with one hand.

- SECOND HUMAN BOY: Bet you can't!

- FIRST HUMAN BOY: Find me a monster with one hand and I'll prove it.

Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
→ They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.

- Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.

- Don't answer!

What did God say after she made Eve?
→ "Practice makes perfect."

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
→ Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Before we got married, I caught her in my arms.
Now I catch her in my pockets.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?
→ Because she never marries the best man.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
→ They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odours, and half the time they don't work.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:

- You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?

- Why?

- Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.