Most viewed jokes

- Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class.

- Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked

- Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day?

- Pupil: The school bus!

What's black and white all over and difficult?
→ An exam paper!

How do you make a rabbit fast?
→ Don't feed it.

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?
→ You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

What is the difference between the first and last desk of a viola section?
→ Half a measure.

What do angry rodents send each other at Christmas time?
→ Cross mouse cards!

What makes an ideal present for a monster?
→ Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

- Why, my outfit was so well drilled - declared one.

- that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.

- Very good - conceded the other.

- but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle.

- What was the jingle? - asked the first.

- Oh - replied the other offhand.

- just our medals.