My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
When a small Montana village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one.
Randall, an old rancher, stood up.
- Ah think we should keep the old truck - he said.
- We can use it for all them false alarms!
- Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!
- Counselor: Shh! Don't make such a fuss. Soon everyone will want one.
Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses?
→ Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!
What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill?
→ It bucked!
A woman was cutting her husband's thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack.
She offered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities.
- It has more vitamin C than an orange - she remarked.
- And more hair than Dad - added their son.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
→ Froglights!
- Would you like a duck egg for supper?
- Only if you quack it for me.
How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.
How do you stop an angry elephant from charging?
→ Take away it's credit cards!
