Most viewed jokes

Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask:

- Excuse me, did you want that cart?

- No, I'm only after one thing - he answered.

As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur:

- Typical male.

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
→ So they can find their way back to the house.

How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull?
→ Marry her!

Casey married a rich widow, but they didn't get along. One day she said to him:

- If it wasn't for my money, that new television wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for my money, that grand piano wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for my money, this house wouldn't be here.

Casey mumbled:

- If it wasn't for your money, I wouldn't be here.

Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in the park. They say down on a bench to rest. They overheard voices coming from a secluded spot. Suddenly Mrs. Murphy realized that a young man was about to propose.

Not wanting to eavesdrop at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband and whispered:

- Whistle and let that young couple know that someone can hear them.

Murphy said:

- Whistle? Why should I whistle? Nobody whistled to warn me.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Claude

- Claude who?

- Claudework Orange!

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Almond!

- Almond who?

- Almond the side of the law!

- Knock Knock!

- Who's there?

- Aitch!

- Aitch who?

- Bless You!