Most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a telephone with a fat football player?
→ A wide receiver.

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?
→ Take me to your breeder!

What's a snake's favourite food?
→ Hiss Cakes!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
→ He couldn't control his pupils!

The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the church and said:

- Whoever is not willing to take a bullet for Jesus better leave now.

More than half of the congregation jumped up and ran out the door.

The two men took off their masks, sat in the front row and said:

- Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All the hyprocrites are gone.

How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
→ Look for gray hares.

- FIRST MONSTER: Am I late for dinner?

- SECOND MONSTER: Yes, everyone's been eaten.

How can you tell if a monster has a glass eye?
→ Because it comes out in conversation

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

- Just to establish some parameters - said the professor to the student from Arkansas.

- What is the opposite of joy?

- Sadness - said the student.

- And the opposite of depression? - he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

- Elation - said she.

- And you sir - he said to the young man from Texas.

- how about the opposite of woe?

The Texan replied:

- Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.

Men are like animals: messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.