Most viewed jokes

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House.

- George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

- Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did - advised George.

The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom.

- Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

- Cut taxes and reduce the size of government - advised Tom.

Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.

- Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country? - Clinton asked.

Abe replied:

- Go to the theater.

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?
→ A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following:

- Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check.

In a short time he received the following reply:

- Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine.

What happens if you upset a cannibal?
→ You get into hot water.

Have you seen the bus website?
→ Yes - it's just the ticket!

Birdwatching by Jack Daw

Hit on the Head by I. C. Stars

Silence is Golden by Xavier Brethe

- Will you come to my party on Saturday?

- Yes, please. What's the address?

- 25 The High Street. Just push the bell with your elbow.

- Why with my elbow?

- Well, you won't be empty-handed, will you!

If you're an American when you're out of the bathroom, what are you when you're IN the bathroom?
→ European! (You're a Peein')

And if you really gotta go bad?
→ Russian!