Most viewed jokes

What do you get if King Kong sits on your piano?
→ A flat note.

- Have you seen www.tomatosauce.com?

- No, I'll ketchup with it later.

Why did the bees go on strike?
→ Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!

The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked:

- How cum yer wearin' two jackets?

- 'Cause - said the redneck, the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!

Did you hear about the Murfreesboro muddlebrain whose father told him about the birds and the bees?

The next day, the Tennessean was stung by a bee and thought he was pregnant.

Did you hear about the Texan who moved to Oklahoma and raised the IQ level of both states?

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader:

- Could you read my palm?

He shows his hand to her, and she says:

- But... I can't read your hand.

- Why? - the man asks.

- I don't understand your handwriting - the woman replies.

- Camper: There's a leak over my bunk!

- Counselor: Don't complain. It only leaks when it rains.

Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and splat... he flattened the cat.
Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he:

- Pardon me, madame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but I wanted to let you know instead of just driving off....

- Not so fast - says she.

- How do you know it was our cat? Could you describe him? What does he look like?

The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said:

- He looks like thts - as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.

- Oh no, you horrible man - she replied.

- I meant, what did he look like before you hit him?

At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed:

- Agggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

- Clown: Why are you wearing such a large shirt?

- Second Clown: I always perform in the big top.