The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him. He drove around the neighbourhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog. "You mean the one following your car?" they asked.
Why did the dog mistake the dog catcher for a grape?
→ He was colour-blind.
Which dog can tell time?
→ A watchdog.
What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia?
→ A puppy.
Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
→ Because you can't bury them in the sky!
What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
→ If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.
A man, seeking to lose some of his excess weight, visited the local doctor.
- John: How can I lose twelve pounds of ugly fat?
- Doctor: Of course! Cut your head off.
- Doctor, Doctor what did the x-ray of my head show?
- Absolutely nothing!
Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified he'd stepped out "for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917, and had never come back.
Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?
→ They outgrew their leotards.
