Most viewed jokes

How can you be sure you have counterfeit money?
→ If it's a three-dollar bill, you can be sure.

When they arrived at the therapist's office, the therapist jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion:

- What seems to be the problem?

Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, the wife began talking 90 miles and hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.

After 5 - - 10 - - 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the therapist went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat there - speechless.

He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened. The therapist spoke to the husband:

- Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!

The husband scratched his head and replied:

- I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Why are lifesavers better than men?
→ They come in five flavors.

Why are men like paper cups?
→ They're disposable

What's the best way to kill a man?
→ Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.

Two men were remembering their wedding days:

- It was dreadful, - said Fred.

- I got the most terrible fright.

- What happened? - asked Harry.

- I married her, - replied Fred.

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife:

- I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just one woman either, but I've slept with dozens of them.

His wife looked at him calmly and said:

- Why do you think I gave you the poison?

What letter is like a vegetable?
→ The letter P.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bullet

- Bullet who?

- Bullet all the hay and now he's hungry!