Most viewed jokes

Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting.
Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
→ The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him that's bad.

Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad.

Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated, Peter says:

- Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, I'm trying to help. Now think!

The man says:

- There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hell's Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her.

- I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I then went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat in his face.

- Wow - said Peter:

- That's impressive. When did this happen?

- Oh, about 10 minutes ago - replied the man.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
→ Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

Why did the teacher have her hair in a bun?
→ Because she had her nose in a hamburger.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first.
→ Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.
→ 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"

Why don't elephants like martinis?
→ Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?

Tarzan was tired when he came home.

- What have you been doing? - asked Jane.

- Chasing a herd of elephants on vines.

- Really? - said Jane.

- I thought elephants stayed on the ground!

What's got four legs and no ears?
→ Mike Tyson's dog.

When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?
→ They were very helpful during the "Roverlutionary War!"

What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport?
→ Miniature golf!