Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.
He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'.
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in the Sky.
Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered:
- ....
- ...... Is Nothing Sacred?
At the first session of a conversion class the minister conducting the class asked:
- What must we do before we can expect forgiveness from sin?
After a long silence, one of the men in attendance raised his hand and said:
- Sin?
- Mortal: What is a million years like to you?
- God: Like one second.
- Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you?
- God: Like one penny.
- Mortal: Can I have a penny?
- God: Just a second.
- Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day.
- Harry: Why do you say he's conceited?
- Fred: Well, every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he went to the window and took a bow.
After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house.
Explaining who he was he asks:
- What happened?
- Well - one of the officer's says:
- It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground.
The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief...
- My agent came to my house?
How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Just one, if he's got a good crew to do it.
- Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium.
- Little monster: Why not?
- Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache.
How do you address a monster?
→ Very politely.
Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
→ He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.
- Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy?
- No! Tell me about it.
- It smells of $50 dollar bills.
