One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
- Policeman: Why didn't you stop at that red light?
- Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.
Where does a burger feel at home?
→ On the range!
Fade Away by Peter Out
Why don't blondes like buttered toast?
→ They can't figure out which side the butter goes on.
How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?...
→ Three in front and three in back...
What do a turtle and a blonde have in common?
→ When they're on their back their both fucked!
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him:
- I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied:
- You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said:
- Paint my house!
If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
The Mammogram
This is an x-ray that has its own name because no one wants to actually say the word breast. Mammograms require your breasts to do gymnastics. If you have extremely agile breasts, you should do fine. Most breasts however, pretty much hang around doing nothing in particular so they are woefully unprepared. But you can prepare for a mammogram right at home using these simple exercises:
