Most viewed jokes

What has antlers and sucks blood?
→ A moose-quito!

A man had a nose ring fitted into his nose, a friend asked:

- how much did you pay for that?

- I paid through the nose! - he replied

The world's most incredibly lazy man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie appeared and granted him three wishes. He wished for a horse, a sumo wrestler and a squirrel.

- They're yours, but what are they for? - the genie asked.

- I'm tired of walking everywhere--I want to just ride the horse. The sumo wrestler is so that I won't have to work to get on the horse.

- But the squirrel? - asked the genie.

- I need something to go 'click-click' to start the horse!!!

What did the wife say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down car?
→ Stop beating a dead hearse!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
→ Jack the kipper!

Did you hear about the Jewish doctor who gave a patient six months to live?
→ When the patient couldn't pay, the doctor gave him another six months.

What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?
→ Out of the way!

How do really posh dogs send messages?
→ By predigree-mail.

What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?
→ With a track-tor!

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
→ I must throw that doggie out the window!