Most viewed jokes

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
→ He was exceeding the feed limit!

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was money in the kitty.

- The trouble is, - said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, - that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't tell jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or do magic tricks or do anything!

- Then why don't you give up show business?

- I can't - I'm a star!

How many Borderline P.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.

- Doctor, doctor, No one believes a word I say.

- Tell me the truth now, what's your REAL problem?

- Doctor, doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.

- Don't let people push you around.

Men are like remote controls.
Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

1. No mind
2. No business.

Men are like mini skirts.

If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.

If you laid all the lawyers in the world head to foot around the Equator, then...
Hey, come to think of it, that's not a bad idea.