Most viewed jokes

Who was the burger's favourite all-time movie director?
→ Sizzle B. DeMille!

- Mother: Jared, get your little sister's hat out of that puddle.

- Jared: I can't mum, she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!

Strong Winds by Gail Force

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
→ Some traffic signs say stop.

Did you hear about the blonde who was an M.D.--Mentally Deficient?

How do you kill a blonde?
→ Give them a gun an say it is a blow dryer

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
→ From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black.

So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to this intersection when she saw a shepeherd by the road waiting to cross with his flock of lambs. The girl stopped and waved him to pass.

While the flock was crossing the road, she asked the shepherd:

- If I can guess how many sheep you got there, would you give me one?

He thought about the offer for a minute and decided it was ok. The girl looked at the flock and exclaimed:

- 487. The shepherd said:

- WOW! That's right...well...take any sheep you like...a deal's a deal. So she gets the animal and happily puts him in the back of her car, when the shepehrd says:

- WAIT!

Now I have a deal for you.... if I guess the real color of your hair can I have my dog back?

The Vancouver [British Columbia] Sun, Thursday, 18 March 1993, page A13 lead headline "United States"

"Hospital costs prove 40% less in Canada by Daniel Haney, AP Science writer

Washington - Hospitals cost almost 40 per cent more in the United States than in Canada, largely because [...]U.S. hospitals are more expensive, in part, because the cases they treat are 14 percent more complex. [Dr. Donald] Redelmeier, of Wellesley Hospital in Toronto, writing in the New England Journal of Medicine] said this reflects social differences between the two countries."

- Frostbite of the nose is not as expensive to treat as a shotgun wound to the belly - he said.

A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says:

- I'd like 99 condoms please.

With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says:

- 99 Condoms!?! Fuck me!

To which the guy replies:

- Make it 100.