Most viewed jokes

Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?
→ He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

The teacher asked a Louisiana teenager to count to five. The youngster proceeded to count to five on his fingers.

Then the teacher asked:

- Can you count any higher?

The boy raised his hands over his head and counted to five again.

- How come you're only watering half your lawn? - a perplexed tourist asked a Richmond resident.

- I just heard there was a fifty percent chance of rain.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?
→ Because the label said General Foods.

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
→ He fell in love with the Grand National winner!

How can you avoid falling hair?
→ Get out of the way.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
→ Dayscare centers

When do ghosts usually appear?
→ Just before someone screams.

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, "There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy." The Scot is not impressed and says, "That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five." At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says "That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you." The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies "No, but my sister told me about it."

How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.