Most viewed jokes

What did one plate say to the other plate?
→ Lunch is on me!

- Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests?

- Yes, sir.

- Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal.

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
→ Samson. He brought the house down.

Why are rabbits never gold?
→ How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit?
→ Will the defendant please rise.

What is the difference between a lawnmower and a soprano sax?
→ You can tune the lawnmower and the owner's neighbors don't mind if you don't return the sax when you borrow it.

What's a monsters favorite play?
→ Romeo and Ghouliet

Frankenstein was sitting in his cell when suddenly through the wall came the ghost of his monster, with a rope round his neck. Frankenstein said:

- Monster, monster, what are you doing here?

The monster said:

- Well, boss, they hanged me this morning so now I've come to meet my maker.

What is the quickest way to double your money?
→ Fold it in half!