Most viewed jokes

Why did the monster go into hospital?
→ To have his ghoul-stones removed.

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?
→ Take his spade away.

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?
→ Because sheep would be too obvious

This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint. He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks.

- WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT?? - the drill sergeant hollered.

In a quivering voice, the recruit replied:

- I said, to myself, Drill Sergeant Sir, 'if that sucker thinks I'm going to stand here and take his crap . . . well, he's certainly an uncanny judge of character.

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife:

- When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones.

- Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you.

- Johnson: But I want you to.

- Wife: But why?

- Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?
→ Only one if you run him through slowly!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Chuck

- Chuck who?

- Chuck in a sandwich for lunch

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bhuto

- Bhuto who?

- Bhuto-n the other foot!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Anne Boleyn

- Anne Boleyn who?

- Anne Boleyn alley!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Anne

- Anne who?

- Anne apple just fell on my head!