Most viewed jokes

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
→ He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

What's the fastest way to send a rabbit?
→ Haremail.

The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.

- I've been waiting for you all day - the cop said.

The guy replied:

- Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Did you hear the story about the razorback hog?
→ It's pretty dull.

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived, all she would say as she stroked the officers arm is "Your Passionate" They drove awhile longer and asked again, again the same response as she stroked his arm "Your Passionate". The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, Look we have driven around this City for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live. She replied I keep trying to tell you: "Your Passin It!"

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
→ To get away from the noise.

Why are conductors' hearts popular for transplants?
→ They've had little use.

Which positions does a violist use?
→ First, third, and emergency.

Why do mice need oiling?
→ Because they squeak!

- Little monster: Mom, Mom, what's for tea?

- Mother monster: Shut up and get back in the microwave.