I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
Slim walked into his local post office and noticed a new sign on the wall: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY IN MONTANA
- Gosh! - he said, If n only that job was in Texas, Ah'd take it!
What's a big game hunter?
→ Someone who's lost his way to the match.
What did Snow white say when her photos didn't come back from the photo store?
→ "Some day my prints will come!"
What do lovesick owls say when it's raining?
→ Too-wet-to-woo.
Three men stood before a judge on a charge of drunk and disorderly conduct in a public park.
- Judge: What were you doing?
- 1st man: Oh, just throwing peanuts in the pond.
- Judge: And what were you doing?
- 2nd man: I was throwing peanuts in the pond, too.
- Judge: Sounds harmless. And you, were you throwing peanuts in the pond as well?
- 3rd man: No, sir. I AM Peanuts!
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
How can you avoid falling hair?
→ Get out of the way.
Why did the lizard go on a diet?
→ It weighed too much for its scales!
What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
→ Hoppalong Cassidy!
