A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
What do Psychologists say to each other when they meet?
→ "You're fine, how am I?"
Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.
- I was in a very generous mood today, - a woman says to her friend.
- I gave a poor beggar $25.
- Thats a lot of money to give away, - says her friend.
- What did your husband say?
He said:
- Thank you.
A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My God Pete!!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU???"
It's not what you say, but the way you say it.
On a blind date, the boy said to the girl:
- Time stands still when I look into your eyes.
The girl was very flattered.
What the boy had really meant was:
- You have a face that would stop a clock.
- And how's yer wife, Pat?
- Sure, she do be awful sick.
- Is ut dangerous she is?
- No, she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!
What letter should you avoid?
→ The letter A because it makes men mean.
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Carlene
- Carlene who?
- Carlene against that wall?
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Armageddon
- Armageddon who?
- Armageddon getting out of here!
