Most viewed jokes

How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

What do you get if cross a mouse with a packet of washing up powder?
→ Bubble and squeak!

What's the definition of a narrow squeak?
→ A thin mouse!

Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing?
→ Because he didn't want to spoil his looks.

- First monster: I have a hunch.

- Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape.

If you take half from a half dollar, what do you have?
→ A dollar.

The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men.

It wasn't until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor.

The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s.

As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place:

- Tower: Sir, do you need any assistance?

- Cobra: I don't know, Tower, we ain't done crashin' yet.

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
→ You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.