Most viewed jokes

- I'm not going to school today - Alexander said to his mother.

- The teachers bully me and the boys in my class don't like me.

- Why?

- Firstly, you're 35 years old. Secondly, you're the principal.

An ideal homework excuse

- Teacher: Where is your homework?

- Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt?
→ "O.K., you asked for it," the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

- And how much of that stack of hay did you steal, Kavanaugh? - the priest asked at confession.

- I might as well confess to the whole stack, your Reverence, - said Kavanaugh.

- I'm goin' after the rest of it tonight!

What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
→ Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift!

How many cops does it take to throw a man down the stairs?
→ None. He fell.

What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
→ A viola burns longer.

Who is king of all the mice?
→ Mouse Tse Tung!

When should a mouse carry an umbrella?
→ When it's raining cats and dogs!

How do you stop a monster from smelling?
→ Cut off his nose.