Most viewed jokes

What does a blonde say when you asked her what the last two words of the national anthem are?
→ Play ball.

Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?
→ She demanded $200,000 and a parachute.

Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead.

This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said:

- I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde.

Her friend said:

- She's a suicide blonde.

The other said:

- Suicide blonde? What's that?

The friend said:

- Dyed by her own hand!

What did the scornful owl say?
→ Twit twoo.

Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn't pretty and wasn't ugly?
→ She was pretty ugly

God created man before creating woman, because you need a rough draft before you create a masterpiece.

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?

The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades; the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one of them $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man:

- I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much.

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and stereo and gives them to the man. She says:

- I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much.

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 and reinvests the rest. She says:

- I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much.

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.