Most viewed jokes

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?
→ If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!

How do you make a butterfly?
→ Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!

Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system..."

Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblebrain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?

Why did the boxer date the pretty girl?
→ Because she was a knockout!

Why did the horse go behind the tree?
→ To change his jockeys.

Which route should you take through the woods when riding a fizzy horse?
→ The psycho-path!

President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates.

- Who goes there? - inquired St. Peter.

- It's me, Bill Clinton.

- What bad things did you do on earth?

Clinton thought a bit and answered:

- Well, I smoked marijuana, but you shouldn't hold that against me because I didn't inhale. And I lied, but I didn't commit perjury.

After several moments of deliberation St. Peter replied:

- OK, here's the deal. We'll send you someplace where it is very hot, but we won't call it 'Hell.' You'll be there for an indefinite period of time, but we won't call it 'eternity.' And don't 'abandon all hope' upon entering, just don't hold your breath waiting for it to freeze over.

When were King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
→ When they had lots of sleepless knights!

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
→ The second one!