Most viewed jokes

Making Snacks by San Widge

What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
→ Siamese twins.

Did you hear about the blonde who after watching the ballerinas, wondered why they didn't get taller girls?

A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells:

- Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!

Someone else yells:

- Call 911!

The blonde yells back:

- What's the number?

How did the blonde burn her nose?
→ Bobbing for french fries.

Why was the blonde in the tree?
→ Because she was raking up the leaves!

What is the definition of Robin?
→ A bird who steals!

- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?

- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!

A man calls his lawyers office. When the receptionist answers the phone he asks to speak to Mr. Taylor, his lawyer.

The receptionist replies:

- I'm sorry, but Mr. Taylor died last week.

The man says nothing and hangs up the phone.

The next day he calls the office and again asks for Mr. Taylor. The receptionist says:

- Sir, I told you yesterday that Mr. Taylor has died.

The man again says nothing and hangs up the phone.

The next day he calls the office again and asks for his lawyer. The receptionist gets angry and says:

- Sir, I have told you for two days that Mr. Taylor has passed away. Why do you continue to call?

The man then answers:

- I like hearing good news when I call my lawyers office.

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary.

The old woman said:

- We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.

- Uh huh - said the old man.

- We will do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon - said the old woman.

- Uh huh - said the old man.

- And we will make love like we did on our first honeymoon - said the old woman.

- That's right - said the old man, except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, 'It's too big, it's too big!'