Most viewed jokes

Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

One day a wife complained:

- This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch.

The husband grunted and replied:

- The darn clock always was slow.

Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
→ Both are food from aloft!

Who never gets his hair wet in the shower?
→ A bald man.

What's red and green and wears boxing gloves?
→ A fruit punch.

How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea?
→ Skates!

What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy student?
→ One baits his hook, the other hates his book.

How many South Dakotans does it take to go ice fishing?
→ Four. One to cut the hole in the ice, and three to push the boat through.

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father:

- How does this boat float?

The father replied:

- Don't rightly know son.

A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked:

- How do fish breath underwater?

Once again the father replied:

- Don't rightly know son.

A little later the boy asked his father:

- Why is the sky blue?

Again, the father repied:

- Don't rightly know son.

Finally, the boy asked his father:

- Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?

The father replied:

- Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'.

What do you get when you cross a matzo ball with LSD?
→ A trip to Israel.