Most viewed jokes

Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
→ Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

What do you call a rabbit with no clothes on?
→ A bare hare.

Why did the pig join a muscle-building class?
→ He thought "pumping iron" was a new juice dispenser.

What do you call a pig with no legs?
→ A groundhog!

How do you get a cellist to play fortissimo?
→ Write 'pp, espressivo'.

What do you do with percussionists that lose one of their drumsticks?
→ Stick them up front of the group and tell them to wave their arms!

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?
→ Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
→ Stick your hand in the bell and play lots of wrong notes.

What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'?
→ A monster in a traffic jam.

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.

- You simpleton! - the officer barked.

- Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?

- Yes sir - the solder answered apologetically.

- But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But When two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say:

- Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' --- that did it.