Most viewed jokes

What sort of soup do skeletons like?
→ One with plenty of body in it.

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
→ Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.
If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant.

- Sid - asked Al - are there any Jews in China?

- I don't know - Sid replied.

- Why don't we ask the waiter?

When the waiter came by, Al asked him:

- Are there any Chinese Jews?

- I don't know sir, let me ask - the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said:

- No, sir. No Chinese Jews.

- Are you sure? - Al asked.

- I will check again, sir - the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said:

- I cannot believe there are no Jews in China.

Our people are scattered everywhere.

When the waiter returned he said:

- Sir, no Chinese Jews.

- Are you really sure? - Al asked again.

- I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.

- Sir, I ask everyone - the waiter replied exasperated.

- We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but we have no Chinese Jews.

Why do elephants have trunks?
→ Because they would look silly carrying suitcases!

What kind of dog can tell time?
→ A clockshund!

What did the dog use to make his kite?
→ Flypaper.

- Doctor, Doctor, you've taken out my tonsils, my adenoids, my gall bladder, my varicose veins and my appendix, but I still don't feel well.

- That's quite enough out of you!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a frog

- What's wrong with that

- I think I'm going to croak

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
→ Mega-sore-ass.

What does a blonde answer to the question:

- Are you sexually active?

→ "No, I just lie there."