Most viewed jokes

A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make out a couple having sex in the middle of the road. Five times on his descent he sounded his horn, but they didn't move. He finally brought the truck to a halt inches from them. The truck driver got out and stormed:

- What the hell's the matter with you two? Didn't you hear me? You could have been killed!

The man replied nonchalantly:

- Listen, I was coming, she was coming, and you were coming. You were the only one with brakes.

Mom and Dad are in the iron and steel business.

She does the ironing and he does the stealing.

What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
→ He ate himself.

How does a pitcher walk a man in Burger Land baseball?
→ He throws four meatballs!

A brunette walks into a bar and says:

- Gimme an M L.

The bartender says:

- What's an M L?

The brunette says:

- A Miller Light.

Another brunette walks in and says:

- Gimme a B L

The bartender says:

- What's a B L?

She says:

- Bud Light.

A dumb blonde walks in and says:

- Gimme a 15.

The bartender says:

- What's a fifteen?

The blonde says:

- 7&7, duh!

Did you hear the one about the blonde that had a problem with her bed?
→ She couldn't find a knife large enough to apply the bed spread.

Why don't chickens like people?
→ They beat eggs!

Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness?
→ She finished it in two.

- People keep telling me I'm beautiful.

- What vivid imaginations some people have.

Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen.

The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks:

- What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?

Assistant replies:

- Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help.

Pharmacist says:

- He seems to be fine now.

Assistant replies:

- Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!